


Body, Remember

by Wagnetic



Category: due South
Genre: Deathfic, Ficlet, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-30
Updated: 2014-07-30
Packaged: 2018-02-11 01:13:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2047563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wagnetic/pseuds/Wagnetic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fraser mourns.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Body, Remember

**Author's Note:**

> Title from C.P. Cavafy's poem.

Sometimes he can swear that he feels Ray next to him in the bed. That first night, hazing in and out of sleep, Ray was pressed against him and Ray’s breath was hot against his ear. He smiled and turned for a kiss and the air was empty. And he knows that the air will continue to be empty. His home is empty. Not entirely, thank god, Diefenbaker is still here, but they built this cabin for the two of them, and now it’s so large that he hears an echo when he speaks. Ray’s arms aren’t there to wrap him up so tightly in a storm. Ray’s body doesn’t arch towards him in bed. His cabinets are free of cheap, processed foods, and there are no clothes on the floor. There are no shouting matches that start the dogs barking in the barn. There are no tender kisses sprinkled across his fingers and wrists and eyelids. He doesn’t see Ray grin at him in the daylight. There’s no smirk on those familiar lips.

 

But more and more he comes to feel what he doesn’t see, even awake. He polishes his boots twice in one day, just for a sense of purpose, and he can feel the exasperated fondness in Ray’s eyes. He knows the tremble in Ray’s voice as Ray tells him to let go. He doesn’t let go. He treasures every bit of Ray that’s left in him, and it’s not enough, but Ray’s rough hand, imagined in his own, is a comfort of a kind. He’ll have to release it in time, but for now he clings to it and lets himself feel Ray as though he were still here.


End file.
